Week Two: Recent History: What Happened From Then Until Now 

Does each of you have a college education? What level of education did each of you reach?

Steve:  Yes, I have a masters Level B.A. in English Literature, BS in Elementary Education, MS in Special Education and am currently working on my MS in Education Administration

Gary:  Thanks Doug, I get to look like the lazy one. I attended Herkimer County Community College (one year) woo hoo! Then, a year at Simmons School of Mortuary Science (a trade school) and received a Certificate in Restorative Art Derma Surgery. Steve has enough degrees for both of us!

If you did get a degree, in what discipline or field? 

Steve:  Education

Gary:  Hard knocks!

What does each of you do for a living? 

Steve:  Special Education Teacher

Gary:  Self-employed Shopkeeper, Landlord, Semi-retired.

Did the fact you are gay influence you in what you decided to do in life? 

Steve: NO

Gary: NO

What is each of your political affiliation, if any?

 Steve: Independent

 Gary: Independent

Does the fact you were gay influence your political views? And if so, how? Please explain briefly.

Steve: No, I vote based on the individual and the positions, not their party affiliation. I listen to what a person has to say regardless the political affiliation.

Gary: I’d have to agree with Steve. We are all individuals and the whole party line thing has gotten so ridiculous that you truly need to be informed and know who you are supporting. It’s not a matter of simply just walking into the voting booth and pushing a lever. I believe that’s part of this countries problem. So many people only ‘half listen’ and think they are hearing it all.  Sorry, for the extended version or my “soapbox” version Doug.

Let me ask one more obvious question triggered by the last question I had on the survey.

Will candidate’s views on same sex marriage alone, sway your vote away from them? In other words, if you agree with all they stand for and their entire platform but they are against same sex marriage, will that one factor cause you not to vote for them?

Steve: Honestly I cannot believe that I would agree with everything anyone had to say if they didn’t support gay marriage. There just seems to be a lot of acceptance issues across the board that need to be addressed and not just gay marriage. 

Gary: I must say if I agree with all of their points and see that they are not on board with the Civil Rights of every human being in America, then how can I trust that the balance of what they are saying is so. You know what I mean? It is EVERY Americans inalienable right to Life, Liberty AND the Pursuit of Happiness. So NO, I would not vote for that individual.

So now you should have a pretty good sense of each member of this couple. The next set of questions will be getting into the meatier topics of same sex marriage and is the heart of the discussion and the real reason for this series. Stay tuned. In the interim, please let us know how you feel about the issues surrounding this topic.

Douglas Boettner

doug.boettner@gmail.com

It’s time to meet the male couple who are being impacted by New York State reluctance to pass a same sex marriage law. I want my readers to get an inside look at the issue from the perspective of an actual couple. I submitted a list of survey questions to them so my readers could get to know them better as this series unfolds. Their names are Gary Kiddney and Steve Fox and they live in the Capital District.

Here are their collective responses to the survey questions:

When did each of you realize you were gay?

Steve: At age 13

Gary:  Very early, I always liked playing with the other boy’s toys. I’d say 7 years old. 

Did each of you wait to “come out”? If so, how long?

 Steve: I came out to my mother at age 23, did not speak to anyone else.

 Gary:  My grandmother asked me outright at age 18 at Danzer’s restaurant in Syracuse. My mother was with us as well. When asked “Couldn’t you play with other boys” I commented “I DID!” funny, I remember that like yesterday.

 When you did “come out” how did you’re immediate and extended family react?

 Steve: It was only my mother – she said she knew – as the rest of my family found out or discovered the news – I was told by my sister that she would “pray for me because I was going to hell.” My one brother would play Poker and Drink Beer with his buddies on Saturday nights and bash on the local “queers”.

Gary: The reaction from my immediate family (Gram) was fine; apparently it was fine with Bonnie (my mother) also. Nothing really catastrophic. I think things just evolved, the family accepted me for me. I was told Gary (my father) had a problem with it, other than that it was just the norm.

 What has been the effect of their reaction on each of you?

 Steve: It hurts me, though I tell myself and others that “You can choose your friends and who you WANT to be around – I do not need to be around my biological family if they are so unaccepting.”

Gary: I was very, very fortunate. My grandmother was there for the both of us, day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year until she died in 2002. My sister has stood by me as well, quietly, but she is there. My one Aunt and her children are right there for us as well. My brother, well seems he turned out to be an ass. C’est la vie! Like my mother and father (until they died) we are estranged.

How long ago did you meet?

 Steve: 22 yrs.

 Gary: We actually met in November 1987 at one of my friends gatherings in Little Falls.

How long have you been living together?

Steve: 22 years.

Gary:   I decided to leave my previous 8 yr. relationship in Syracuse in January of 1988, moved in with Steve in February 1988, 22 years ago – quickly going on 23!

Did you plan on getting married?

§  As soon as New York State legalizes same sex marriages?;

Steve: Yes

Gary:  Yes, we would really prefer to be married in NYS. Kind of confused that NY will recognize a marriage preformed in another state, yet will not allow it to be performed here. I would like to know their thinking on that one.

§  or, in another state if New York doesn’t pass a law in the next session?

Steve: by our 25^th Anniversary

Gary: We both agree we would like to “make it legal” by our 25^th Anniversary. If NY or the Supreme Court doesn’t recognize our Civil Right to be a couple (and to be performed here in NYS) then we will go to Massachusetts

I give to you Gary and Steve, who I believe to be an average gay male couple. They are both very caring people and are very professional people.

In the next posting, I will be asking them some more questions about their more recent past to let the readers gain more knowledge of their lifestyle and background. Stay tuned.

Douglas Boettner 

doug.boettner@gmail.com

I have been interviewing a gay male couple with the intent of learning more about the entire issue and the controversy surrounding same sex marraiges around the country, and more specifically in New York State. The result of my research will be a three or four part series here in Keeping It Real highlighting all the issues surrounding same sex marriages from the stand point of a gay male couple who have been together for over 22 years.

I have my own opinion on the issue from both a civil/legal and religious perspective, but my goal is to learn as much as I can from these two people. Two people who are intimately impacted by New York State’s decision not to legalize same sex marriages.

The series should be starting in the next week or so. In the interim, I would like to hear from The Keeping It Real readers and The Empire Page readers. So please leave a comment as to what your views are on the issue of same sex marriages, both from a civil/legal perspective and from a religious perspective. I believe the issues need to be more openly discussed so everyone can learn as much as they can before deciding exactly where they stand.

To really appreciate the power of the Declaration of Independence, one must read it from time to time, especially in times when our country seems to be in a free fall from grace. When many of our national and state legislators are just doing the wrong thing, ethically, morally and politically, and not truly representing the citizens they were elected to represent, and are acting in a destructive manner to the best interests of the country or state.

Let's take a look at the second paragraph of our Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that all men are endowed with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness."

In my humble opinion, the time has come to have the people's voice heard loud and clear. Our government has become destructive, in fact, it has become self-destructive. It is imploding right before our eyes.

The tricky part is how do the People go about abolishing it in an orderly manner. Our founding fathers, I am sure, never envisioned that our country would become the size and magnitude it has grown to. It would have been relatively easy to abolish and reinstitute a new government back in the 18^th century. Now I believe our only choice is to keep voting out legislators that simply do not demonstrate they are acting in the best interests of the People and the country.

See you at the polls in November.

God Bless America.

Douglas Boettner

Doug.boettner@gmail.com

Public employees and private employees. In a recent Time magazine article they were quoted as saying, “The long recession has cast a glaring light on the fact that public and private workers increasingly live in separate economies.”

In my humble opinion, there is no valid for this disparity. Private workers live in the real work of business and state employees live in a kind of fantasy world. In a bad economy, private workers worry about getting laid off. They worry about taking a large cut in salary in order not to get laid off and to keep the company they work for in business.

In the same bad economy, public employees have had no worries of being laid off. They have had no worries of suffering a salary cut; until now. Governor Paterson has been proposing both layoffs and/or give backs of salary increases. Welcome to the real world public employees.

New York State (NYS) is in the midst of one of the worst economic periods in history and is facing budget deficits of $9.2 billion this year and double or triple that in the next two years. NYS is some of the highest taxes in the country for both businesses and individuals. Those taxes are one of the main reasons NYS has been losing businesses and individuals to other states.

It’s clear that increasing taxes is a further death knell for NYS. The only option is to decrease expenses. Governor Paterson is working with the Legislature at this moment to find areas to decrease spending. One of those areas has to be the cost of the state workforce. It has been the focus of almost every other state in the country that is facing huge budget deficits. And in many states, the public unions have agreed to give back salary increases to avoid layoffs. In many other states they have laid off substantial numbers of employees and reduced salaries. NYS has done neither. Bulletin to NYS employees: The Fantasy bubble you have been living in is about to burst, if not this year then surely in the next when there is a new sheriff coming to town in the name of Andrew Cuomo.

In my humble opinion, there is no valid reason why public employees should not share in the pain right alongside every other working New Yorker as we suffer through, and recover from, this pathetic economy we are experiencing.

Your thoughts.

 Douglas Boettner

Doug.boettner@gmail.com

The issues surrounding No-Fault divorce amuse me. As a person who has been divorced three times in my 60 years, I say it is about time New York State joins the other 49 states and passes a No-Fault Divorce statute.

Once a decision is made, by either spouse, they no longer want to live together in a marital hell, they will be getting a divorce whether it is under a no-fault scenario are under the current law. Here's the problem with ending a marriage under the current law, especially when children are involved: 1) it requires one of the parents to sling mud at the other one to prove they have grounds for the divorce. This occurs whether there are grounds or not. This is detrimental to the children because they get to hear and see all the bad interactions between the parents as the marriage dissolves and the divorce takes place; and, 2) the assets of the family are seriously eroded by the fees paid to the two lawyers who are involved representing the parents, who are encouraging the couple to continue to sling as much mud as they can because this insures there will be meetings and correspondence going back and forth and all the while their odometer is running at $250 to $350 an hour. This means less money is available for the children's education and for the spouse who is deemed "at fault" to recover and to get on with their life so the children can continue to live in a lifestyle similar to the one they lived before the divorce.

In my humble opinion, I believe a No-Fault Divorce Law would even the playing field and be a very good for residents of New York State. I mean can all the other 49 states be wrong, and do some people think we are breaking down some moral fabric by providing a more reasonable way to end a marriage? Haven't they been watching just how immoral our elected officials are in New York State?

I saw a press release this morning by the National Organization of Women / New York State, and several like organizations, in which they state Organizations and individuals will send a clear message to the New York State Assembly and to the Governor, that No-Fault Divorce is not acceptable to the women and families of New York. New York must not have "divorce on demand." Hello, we basically have it now. The only difference is you need to hire a lawyer at great personal expense to make a case to prove you have established the grounds to get one.

Why don't we just stop the circus that is divorce proceedings in New York State and get on with what every other state in the union already knows. Divorce is going to happen whether someone is at fault or not.

Douglas Boettner

Doug.boettner@gmail.com

I recently received an e-mail from a friend. He is a veteran and a patriot and someone who cares deeply for his country. The e-mail suggested that if, as President Abraham Lincoln once stated, if we are to survive as a country we need to be a "Government of the people, by the people, for the people," then we must start to reform our government and our laws to get our country back to being just that, a country with a government for the "people".

The e-mail suggests a grass roots effort by the citizens of our country to propose a Congressional Reform Act of 2010. If we are to truly give government back to the people, we first need to take back our government from our elected representatives and restructure in the way our founding fathers intended it to operate; that is, we elect representatives who, in turn, represent the interests and positions of their constituents.

Serving in Congress was a privilege and most ran for office because of a sense of duty to their country. It was intended they would serve a term and then get back to their trade or professional career. It was not intended they would make serving in Congress their career.

Here is an excerpt from the e-mail providing some suggestions that should be included in the Congressional Reform Act of 2010:

1. Term Limits: Limited to 12 years with one of these possible options:

• Two Six year Senate terms
• Six Two year House terms
• One Six year Senate term and three Two Year House terms
• Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. 
  
• The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

2.  No Tenure and No Pension:

• A congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.
• Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career.
  
• The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

3.  Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security:

• All funds in the Congressional retirement fund shall be moved to the Social Security system immediately. 
  
• All future funds flow into the Social Security system, Congress participates with the American people.
• Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. 
  
• The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, server your term(s), then go home and back to work.

4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan just as all Americans.

• Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. 
  
• The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

5. Congress can no longer vote themselves a pay raise.

• Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.
• Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career.
  
• The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

6. Congress looses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

• Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. 
  
• The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

7. Congress must equally abide in all laws they impose on the American people.

• Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. 
  
• The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

8. All contracts with past and present congressmen are void effective 1/1/11.

• The American people did not make this contract with congressmen, congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.
• Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. 
  
• The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

Okay, so let's get started. Who's with me?

Douglas Boettner

doug.boettner@gmail.com

As we approach yet another Memorial Day we start to see increased attention and hoopla surrounding honoring our fallen veterans. This is a good thing and an honorable thing. It also happens every year on Veterans Day in November. So we increase the nation’s awareness to our fallen veterans in May and in November.

In my humble opinion, this is not enough and doesn’t go far enough. We have troops dying almost every day in the two primary wars in which we are involved. Surely this ultimate sacrifice deserves more than a couple memorials each year. As a nation, we should be looking for ways to honor these fallen veterans by showing our surviving veterans the attention they deserve and by making sure the families of our veterans are taken care of in some measure.

This is not to say there aren’t any volunteer groups, or government sponsored programs, that provide a measure of assistance to veterans and their families. There are several such groups and programs. I don’t believe there are enough or they go far enough. As great a country we live in I still get the feeling that veterans are treated as second class citizens after they return from war. Look at how the returning veterans from Viet Nam were treated and still are treated to this day. They didn’t decide to send themselves to Viet Nam, their country did.

I volunteer for one of the groups that primarily assist returning combat veterans. The group is the New York State for Veterans, Inc. (NYS4VETS). Our primary purpose is the find returning veterans jobs, and not just any jobs. Jobs in the area in which they wish to raise a family and jobs for which they have received training in their service to this country. We sit with them to prepare a resume, which most have never done, and we contact prospective employers on their behalf to set up employment interviews. We basically take that extra step further than the NYS Department of Labor or the Division of Veterans Affairs would take them. In addition, if they have yet to attend college, we assist them by contacting admissions at colleges to get them accepted into a college.

Returning from an extended military deployment and acclimating oneself into civilian life can be a daunting task for a veteran. In many cases they have families and what they need as soon as possible is a job to support their family. What many are finding is that the safety net they once could expect to rely on is no longer there. A safety net is usually provided by their parents or siblings. What has happened with increased frequency is when they return their parents and siblings have been laid off and are unemployed. This only compounds the problem and the urgency to find meaningful employment.

This is where NYS4VETS steps in, and we’re there for them every day, all year. We haven’t forgotten them. We provide these services free of charge to them. They have already provided their services to us, and many of them have paid a heavy price in terms of returning handicapped or emotionally scarred. This is the least we can do for them. Many have written about their experience with NYS4VETSand you can read what they have said at: www.nys4vets.org.

My solemn prayer is that all Americans start to realize that our veterans are heroes and they deserve to be treated in a special way and a reverent way. They are doing what most of us would not want to do. They are voluntarily putting themselves in harm’s way and asking for nothing in return. They all have a deep abiding love their country, and you are our country. So, let’s not just honor them as they return at the airport and on a couple of special days during the year. Get out and actively support them by volunteering for a not-for-profit group like NYS4VETS or some other group and if you can’t volunteer or don’t have the time, then make a monetary donation to a group.

Let’s start to really show our veterans the honor and respect they truly deserve. God bless them and their families and God bless America.

Douglas Boettner

Doug.boettner@gmail.com

Well it’s finally come down to this, the final showdown between the public employee unions and Governor Paterson, and the governor has played his trump card. The unions could have avoided it and everyone could have saved face, but the short-sightedness of the unions has landed their membership in a fine mess. Now instead of them temporarily forgoing a 4% pay raise, they are going to be enduring a 20% pay cut.

At this time I suggest you look back at two of my previous articles:

Public Employee Unions are No Longer Needed

Public Unions: Wake up and Look Around

I have one thing to say “I told you so”.

My household is going to feel this pain. My wife is a state employee. She would have preferred to give up the 4% raise in lieu of what is happening now. She is ticked off that her union, one that has never done a thing for her, didn’t bother to even ask her what she would preferred to happen. She doesn’t believe they are representing her interests or those of the membership. She sees no need for the union. I believe her sentiments are shared with the majority of its members.

In my humble opinion, I don’t think furloughs are fair nor legal, but when backed in a corner and after giving the unions some better options to which they refused to consider, the governor did what he had to do.

Douglas Boettner

doug.boettner@gmail.com

Although not explicitly in our Constitution, presumption of innocence is widely held to follow from the 5th, 6th, and 14^th amendments to the Constitution. In many foreign democracies it is explicitly stated, even in the Constitution of Russia.

Accusing someone of a crime or an improper act without the actual proof is a dangerous business. The main problem with it is, once people hear that you have been accused, in their minds you are guilty. They assume the accuser has the proof.

Look at what has happened in the negative campaign against President Obama since he has taken office. Accusations have flow around as to whether he attended college, whether he is a U.S. citizen, that he is trying to turn the U.S.A. into a Muslim country, and hard as it is to believe, there are ultra-conservative citizens of this country ready to convict President Obama without even bothering with a trial. Prejudging people is wrong. It has to stop. The accuser is entitled to due process under the law if accused of a crime. It is a basic tenet of not only our society but of our democracy.

I was just recently falsely accused of doing something I just did not do. I was accused of buying cigars at one cigar shop and smoking them in the smoking lounge of another cigar shop. It simply was not the case. When confronted by myself it was found that the owner of the cigar shop who accused me did not have any evidence to support his accusation. In addition, to clear my name, I provided him with proof that I had not actually bought cigars at one shop and smoked them in his shop. The problem now is that the “milk is in the coffee”. People have heard that the reason I no longer frequent this shop is because I was guilty of this crime. It’s wrong.

On a macro level, news agencies need to stop reporting items for which they have no proof. Doing this only unnecessarily insights the public and takes away from the civil debate on important issues. Let’s get back to reporting the news and not just reporting false accusations and innuendos.

Douglas Boettner

doug.boettner@gmail.com